[two rules]

A /

WOOER

S²TANDS Candidate for Cuckold, and if
he miſs of it, it is none of his Fault; for
his Merit is ſuſſiciently known. He is com
monly no Lover, but able to paſs for a moſt
deſperate one, where he finds it is like to prove
of conſiderable Advantage to him; and there-
fore has Paſſions lying by him of all Sizes pro-
portionable to all Women’s Fortunes, and can
be indifferent, melancholy, or ſtark-mad, ac-
cording as their Eſtates give him Occaſion; and
when he finds it is to no Purpoſe, can preſently
come to himſelf again, and try another. He  proſecutes his Suit againſt his Miſtreſs as Clients
do a Suit in Law, and does nothing without
the Advice of his learned Council, omits no
Advantage for want of ſoliciting, and, when
He gets her Conſent, overthrows her. He en-

deavors to match his Eſtate, rather than him-
ſelſ, to the beſt Advantage, and is his Miſ-
treſs’s Fortune and his do but come to an
Agreement, their Perſons are eaſily ſatisſied, the
Match is ſoon made up, and a Croſs Marriage
between all four is prefeſtly concluded. He is
not much concerned in his Lady’s Virtues, for if
the Opinion of the Stoics be true, that the vir-
tuous are always rich, there is no doubt, but ſhe
that is rich muſt be virtuous. He never goes
without a Liſt in his Pocket of all the Widows
and Virgins about the Town, with Particulars
of their Jointures, Portions, and Inheritances,
that if one miſs he may not be without a Re-
ſerve; for he eſteems Cupid very improvident,
if he has not more than two Strings to his
Bow. When he wants a better Introduction,
he begins his Addreſſes to the Chamber-maid,
like one that ſues the Tenant to eject the Land-
lord, and according as he thrives there makes
his Approaches to the Miſtreſs. He can tell
readily what the Difference is between Join-
Ture with Tution of Infant, Land and
Money of any Value, and what the Odds is
to a Penny between them all, either to take or
leave. He does not ſo much go a wooing as
put in his Claim, as if all Men of Fortune

had a fair Title to all Women of the ſame
Quality, and therefore are ſaid to demand them
in Marriage. But if he be a Wooer of For-
tune, that deſigns to raiſe himſelſ by it, he
makes wooing his Vocation, deals with all
Matchmakers, that are his Setters, is very
painful in his Calling, and, if he Buſineſs ſucceed,
ſteals her away and commits Matri-
mony with a ſelonious Intent. He has a great
deſire to beget Money on the Body of a Wo-
man, and as for other Iſſue is very indifferent,
and cares not how old ſhe be, ſo ſhe be not paſt
Money-bearing.