Non-Specific Humans

a Peer a titular Prince his Wife The King Judge the Italians the rich Glutton his Brethren Lord-Mayor Companies

Mythological Figures The Whore of Babylon

Animals Raindeer Unicorn Cock Owl Rabbet


[two rules]

AN
ALDERMAN

H2AS taken his Degree in Cheating, and
the higheſt of his Faculty ; or paid for
refuſing his MANDAMUS. He is a Peer of the
City, and a Member of their upper Houſe,
Who, as ſoon as he arrives at ſo many thouſand
Pounds, is bound by the Charter to ſerve the
Public with ſo much Underſtanding, what
ſhift ſoever he make to raiſe it, and wear a
Chain about his Neck like a Raindeer, or in
Default to commute, and make Satisfaction in
ready Money, the beſt Reaſon of the Place;
for which hi has the Name only, like a titular
Prince, and is an Alderman extraordinary. But
if his Wife can prevail with him to ſtand, he
becomes one of the City-ſupporters, and, like
the Unicorn in the King's Arms, wears a Chain
about his Neck very right-worſhipfully. He
wears Scarlet, as the Whore of Babylon does,
not for her honeſty, but the Rank and Quality


ſhe is of among the Wicked, When he ſits
as a Judge in his Court he is abſolute, and uſes
arbitrary Power ; for he is not bound to un-
derſtand what he does, nor render an Account
why he gives Judgment on one Side rather
than another ; but his Will is ſufficient to ſtand
for his Reaſon, to all Intents and Purpoſes.
He does no public Buſineſs without eating and
drinking, and never meets about Matters of Im-
portance, but the Cramming his Inſide is the
moſt weighty Part of the Work of the Day.
He diſpatches no public Affair until he has
thoroughly dined upon it, and is fully ſatisfied
with Quince-Pye and Cuſtard : for Men are
wiſer, the Italians ſay, after their Bellies are
full, than when they are faſting, and he is very
cautious to omit no Occaſion of improving his
Parts that Way. He is ſo careful of the In-
tereſt of his Belly, and manages it ſo induſ-
triouſly, that in a little Space it grows great
and takes Place of all the reſt of his Members,
and becomes ſo powerful, that they will never
be in a Condition to rebel againſt it any more.
He is cloathed in Scarlet the Livery of his Sins,
like the rich Glutton, to put him in Mind of
what Means he came to his Wealth and Pre-
ferment by. He makes a Trade of his Eat-


ing, and, like a Cock, ſcrapes when he feeds ;
for the Public pays for all and more, which he
and his Brethren ſhare among themſelves ; for
they never make a dry Reckoning. When he
comes to be Lord-Mayor he does not keep a
great Houſe, but a very great Houſe-warming
for a whole Year ; for though he invites all the
Companies in the City he does not treat them,
but they club to entertain him, and pay the
Reckoning beforehand. His Fur-gown makes
him look a great deal bigger than he is, like
the Feathers of an Owl, and when he pulls
it off, he looks as if he were fallen away, or
like a Rabbet, had his Skin pulled off.