An HARANGUER

Non-Specific Humans Silenced Minister the Company A Man his Patient Butcher Children in Scotland Old Soldier Barber his Antagonist

Proper Names William Prynne Lord Brooks

Mythological Figures Fame

Animals Beast [with hoof] Dog Pig Calf Cats Water-Dog Duck Rattlesnake Wildgoose

Center [137]

Double Rule

Center AN
Center HARANGUER

[I]s one, that is so delighted with the sweet/ [I] Sound of his own Tongue, that [i] William
Prynne [i] will sooner lend an Ear, than he, to any
Thing else. His Measure of Talk is till his
Wind is spent; and then he is not silenced,
but becalmed. His Ears have catched the
Itch of his Tonuge, and though he scratch
them, like a Beast with his Hoof, he finds a
Pleasure in it. A [i] silenced Minister, [i] has more
Mercy on the Government in a secure Conven-
ticle, than he has on the Company, that he is
in. He shakes a Man by the Ear, as a Dog
does a Pig, and never looses his Hold, till he
has tired himself, as well as his Patient. He
does not talk to a Man, but attack him, and
whomsoever he can get into his Hands he lays
violent Language on. If he can he will run
a Man up against a Wall, and hold him at a

138 #Center AN HARANGUER.
Bay by the Buttons, which he handles as bad
as he does his Person, or the Business he treats
upon. When he finds him begin to sink, he
holds him by the Cloaths, and feels him as a
Butcher does a Calf, before he kills him. He
is a walking Pillory, and crucifies more Ears
than a dozen standing ones. He will hold any
Argument rather than his Tongue, and main-
tain both sides at his own Charge; for he will
tell you what you will say, though, perhaps,
he does not intend to give you leave. He
lugs Men by the Ears, as they correct Children
in [i] Scotland, [i] and will make them tingle, while
he talks with them, as some say they will do,
when a Man is talked of in his Absence. When
he talks to a Man, he comes up close to him,
and like an old Solider lets fly in his Face, or
claps the Bore of his Pistol to his Ear, and
whispers aloud, that he may be sure not to
miss his Mark. His tongue is always in Mo-
tion, tho very seldom to the Purpose, like a
Barber's Scissers, which are always snipping,
as well when they do not cut, as when they
do. His Tongue is like a Bagpipe Drone, that
has no Stop, but makes a continual ugly Noise,
hims*elf. He never leaves a Man until he has

3

Center AN HARANGUER. #Justifyleft 139
run him down, and then he winds a Death
over him. A Sow-Gelder's Horn is not so
terrible to Dogs and Cats, as he is to all that
know him. His Way of Argument is to talk
all, and hear to Contradiction. First he gives
his Antagonist the Length of the Wind, and
then, let him make his Approaches if he can,
he is sure to be beforehand with him. Of all
dissolute Diseases the Running of the Tongue is
the worst, and the hardest to be cured. If he
happen at any time to be at a Stand, and any
Man else begins to speak, he presently drowns
him with his Noise, as a Water-Dog makes a
Duck dive: for when you think he has done
he falls one, and lets fly again, like a Gun, that
will discharge nine Times with one Loading.
He is a Rattlesnake, that with his Noise gives
Men warning to avoid him, otherwise he will
make them wish they had. He is, like a Bell,
good for nothing but to make a Noise. He is
like common Fame, that speaks most and
knows least, Lord [i] Brooks, [i] or a Wildgoose al-
ways cackling when he is upon the Wing.
His Tongue is like any Kind of Carriage, the
less Weight it bears, the faster and easier it
goes. He is so full of Words, that they run
over, and are thrown away to no Purpos*e; and

140 #Center AN HARANGUER.
so empty of Things, or Sense, that his Dry-
ness has made his Leaks so wide, whatsoever is
put in him runs out immediately. He is so
long in delivering himself, that those that hear
him desire to be delivered too, or dispatched
out of their Pain. He makes his Discourse the
longer with often repeating [i] to be short, [i] and talks
much of [i] in fine, [i] but never means to come near
it.